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San Diego, CA – November 2013:
A knot began to form in the pit of my stomach. Pretty sure it was a physical manifestation of the negative emotions I was experiencing in that moment.
Although I was still “in the family,” I very much felt overlooked and unappreciated.
My ego immediately chimed in….
“How could they do this… TO ME?….”
I was scheduled to present from stage the following day and not only did they fail to print me a fucking name badge but now it looks like they don’t have an L4 award for me either.
Its the 4th annual Live the Dream Online Marketing Event in San Diego, California held by the MLSP marketing system and community. I’ve attended all 4 of these events and, up to this point, I went home with a leadership award every single time.
My ego chimed in again…. “After all my years of loyalty…. Don’t they know I’m in the top 10 producers of all time with their company and one of like only four people in the room who have to been to all 4 of these events!!?? I’ve only recruited like 800 people into your goddam system including David Wood, the #1 all time producer”
Then it hit me!
I’m not upset with this company, or the people who threw the event. I’m upset with myself. Not only was I angry with myself, I was severely disappointed with myself because I knew there’s no way in a million years this would have happened had I been playing full out!
Sure, it probably was a simple human error, my name was left off of some list somewhere, but if I was playing this game on par with my potential and ability, they would have never been able to overlook me like this!
It immediately reminded me of something similar that happened a couple months back. 2 friends and business associates, who at one point referred to me as their mentor, held an online marketing event less than 80 miles from my house and didn’t even invite me. I had to learn about it from another friend of mine who was driving from Florida to California and who stopped in Colorado to attend the event.
Again my immediate reaction is to say, “screw those jerks,” but the reality is that its my own damn fault.
Hi my name is Adam Chandler and this is the most transparent, self actualizing “thing” I’ve ever written, (not sure what else to call it).
Throughout this post I’m going to share a few things that frankly, saying them publicly scares the shit out of me. In fact, I originally wrote this shortly after the event in the fall of 2013. But it took me until January of 2014 to share it publicly.
I’m going to admit to a few self limiting beliefs that I had to confront in order to get to the next level in both my business as well my personal life.
I’ll also share some success rules…. That I broke…. And that have cost me big time over the past year or so. It is my promise that by reading this entire post, you will learn how to avoid future pain and frustration by not repeating some of the mistakes I have made.
Hopefully, reading this post will do a few other things for you too…. It will make you realize that its ok not to be perfect.
Often in social media, people, (especially marketers) want to give you the impression that they have it all figured out. Let me be the first to say… I do not.
It will also give you some insights into what to do when you feel like you have platteaued, or even dipped, in your business.
I’ve identified two limiting beliefs that have held me back in both in both my business as well as my personal life.
1.) Throughout my entire life I’ve cared WAY too much about what other people think. I’ve been at concerts where I’ve wanted to let loose and dance and I didn’t because I worried about how the random guy 4 rows behind me would judge me. Is that fucking crazy or what? If I died today would that guy cry at my funeral? Would he even show up? The answer is a definitive NO! So why should I care what he thinks.
And don’t get me wrong I love to dance at shows and I do so regularly but its usually only after several drinks or “other substances” to loosen me up. But thats a confession for another day…
Think about how this has effected my business? On social media I’ve wanted to say things and make posts and express myself, and I’ve held back because of what one of my friends might think. My personal Facebook audience is a mixture of business friends, business people I’ve never met or connected with, customers, team members, mentors and friends and family from my personal life. I’ve mentally stopped myself from making certain business related posts because of what one my friends in my personal life might think. Talk about a limiting belief right?
A lot of this stems from close friends of mine who have been downright harsh towards me about my business. Probably out of their own fears and insecurities. But again fuck-em! They don’t pay my bills! And they don’t share my dreams! And if they really want to bring me down are they even really friends? Are they worth continuing to associate with?
#2) Is an issue of self confidence and self esteem. I’ve personally grown by leaps and bounds in this area but the issue still rears its ugly head from time to time. In grade school I was told I was “below average” and even that I had a learning disability. As a result of hearing those things I performed that way throughout my entire academic life. This, as well as probably some other influences shaped my thoughts of myself as “not good enough.”
I began making major progress in this area when I entered college and started forming some really strong relationships… Getting pursued by females certainly helped immensely as well. Of course when I first discovered entrepreneurship and the home business industry and all the personal development influences related to it, I made major progress in this area too.
Compared to many I am a very confident successful person who realizes his greatness and potential but that doesn’t change the fact that I still have work to do here if I want to step into my vision and and impact people on the scale on which I desire.
Loyalty and Integrity
Check out what the MLSP crew did once they realized their error. This reminds me why I’ve been so loyal to them over the years.
Integrity is HUGE for me and…. they exude integrity!
Once the MLSP co-founders and corporate leadership found out about their error, they apologized up and down.
They assured me it was a simple human error and it could have happened to anyone.
They asked me if I would accept this small gesture as a way for them to begin to repay me and recognize me for the value I’ve brought to the community over the years. This made me feel awesome, (the weekend was an emotional roller coaster for me as you can tell).
So here’s a quick lesson to pull from this painful experience….
Our world is shaped more by our reactions to situations much more so than it is by the situations themselves.
I could have allowed this event to knock me down into self pity, and dwell on feelings of not being good enough or whatever….
But I didn’t… Well, maybe I did for a minute but I got over it FAST!
Instead I thought, maybe this is the painful situation that I need to experience to snap me out of my funk and motivate me to take the next step necessary for my further growth as a entrepreneur, (and a human being).
From Pain to Pleasure and Back to Pain Again…
I attribute a great deal of my early success in my business, back in 2009, to getting very clear and present with the less than glamorous place I was at in my life at the time. I was so sick of being broke all the time, and having to borrow money from family members just to stay afloat financially… And never being able to get ahead due to having to constantly pay bank fees for overdrawing my accounts. I was so frustrated with living like this that when the opportunity presented itself to start an online business, I jumped at the opportunity and began taking massive action.
Making that decision to do whatever it was going to take to make it work, changed my life. And its as a result of that decision that I haven’t had a real job in over 4 years.
And even though like 98% of the home business industry would look at where I was at in my business at the time and think that I was still pretty freckin successful…. and compared to where I was in my life a few years ago… I certainly was…. But the truth is that in 2013 and even for a big part of 2012…. I had lost the edge.
I took my freedom for granted. I got too comfortable. I got lazy. Residual income equals freedom. And with great freedom comes great responsibility. I screwed up that responsibility and because of it I almost lost my freedom.
Here are the success rules that I broke and the lessons I learned as a result.
3 Success Rules that I Broke and the Lessons I Learned in the Process
#1 – Don’t get too comfortable!
Stay hungry, even when you are winning!
#2 – If someone doesn’t have what you want, be very careful about taking advice from them!
I allowed someone to influence me who had no business doing so. This person had almost no success in marketing. And I allowed them to advise and influence me even though I had 4+ years off profitable results in the marketing world. I should have had my fucking head examined for doing this. I am in no way blaming this person. It was me who allowed this to happen. Never again…. Lesson learned!
#3 – Good or bad, Take 100% responsibility for your results
I feel like I adopted a bit of an entitlement mentality in 2013. This may have actually started when I started earning a very healthy residual income in 2011 and 2012 and I took it for granted. And when my business dipped I blamed situations and circumstances rather than taking 100% personal responsibility for my results. Again, lesson learned. Never again. From now on I take 100% responsibility for my results, good or bad.
Like I said, when I started writing this confession it was only shortly after the very painful event that I shared at the beginning of this post. As I’m finishing writing it, and publishing it online it is half way through January of 2014.
My awesome business partner Justice Eagan and I just launched a coaching program where we pulled in just shy of $15,000 in the first two weeks of the year and we are currently leading a group of over 70 entrepreneurs in the program. I feel like I have a renewed vision for my business and I want to continue to share my expertise with others in this amazing industry on a much larger scale than I am currently.
Doing this will take a renewed commitment to personal and professional development that I have already very much committed to in the new year… I started the daily habit of filling up an entire page of my journal with gratitude and a list of what I’m grateful for in my life.
I’ve been doing this very consistently over the past couple months and I believe that the exciting results I’ve been experiencing lately in both my business and my personal life is directly related to this. Or at least with the attitude change I’ve experienced as a result of implementing this daily discipline.
As I write this we are currently 2 weeks into 2014 and the new business as well as the positive people and experiences showing up in my life make me firmly believe that this will be a breakthrough year for me. More so than any I’ve experienced up to this point.
The results I saw early on in my business career came purely from my own passion and drive to change my results. Then I developed some extremely profitable skills, but somewhere along the way I lost the spark.
Now I feel like I’m getting the spark back, and when you combine fire and passion with the right skills you can do very big things and turn a lot of heads… That is what I plan to do in 2014 and beyond.
If you took anything away from this post please let me know by leaving me a comment below….
Thank you for reading!… To the top!